Never separated

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“How are you?”
They’ve heard the news
or they have lived through it with me.
Some look sad
thinking they already know
the answer.
Others don’t ask.
A few report back news,
others avoid it altogether.
Most never call.
Their loyalty is elsewhere.
They do not believe,
I suppose,
that they can do what they’ve always done
before
and still carry me along
because I have been let go.
Like divorce,
I am trying to find my way
in a new life
without the male domination,
without the prescribed rituals,
without the patterns of a lifetime.
I am not part of the club now,
free from the rules
but also the members.
There is no alimony.
Thirty-five years or more
over now
because he said it was.
And truthfully,
because I knew it was
though he lied about the reason why.
My Truth, my life, my God
is bigger than this.
Can I still call myself a Roman Catholic?
Do they grant annulments
in divorces from the Church itself?
How am I?, indeed?
I am granting myself absolution
for looking for,
for feeling,
Truth
wherever I am.
Because I can be divorced
from the Church,
but never separate from
God.

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